Posted tagged ‘Bible’

The Devil’s Bible, Part IV.

December 17, 2010

The Devil too can quote Scripture…

An American Proverb

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THE BIBLE PASSAGE: So Boaz took Ruth (THE MOABITE WOMAN) and she became his wife. When he made love to her, the LORD enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son…And they named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David. (Ruth 4:13-17)

Part II. The Prohibited, Criminal Roots of the House of David

THE CLAIM: The House of David, and Divine Right to be King, is, in fact, illegitimate and specifically prohibited by the Laws of Bible, as clearly written in the Torah.

THE PROOF: No one of illegitimate birth shall enter the assembly of the LORD; none of his descendants, even to the tenth generation, shall enter the assembly of the LORD. No Ammonite or Moabite shall enter the assembly of the LORD; none of their descendants, even to the tenth generation, shall ever enter the assembly of the LORD, because they did not meet you with food and water on the way when you came out of Egypt, and because they hired against you Balaam the son of Beor from Pethor of Mesopotamia, to curse you. (Deuteronomy 23:2-4)

THE ILLEGAL LINEAGE OF DAVID: David’s Great-grandmother Ruth (Book of Ruth) was a female Moabite by descent, thus making David, her direct male descendant, a third-generation Moabite. This, in effect and by Torah law disqualifies him from ever being King of Israel, thereby excluding him permanently from the Congregation of the LORD God of Israel. (Ruth 4:9-22)

THE LAW OF GOD: No Ammonite or Moabite shall enter the assembly of the LORD; none of their descendants, even to the tenth generation, shall ever enter the assembly of the LORD, (Deuteronomy 23:3)

THE CONCLUSION: The Ruling House of David, who was a direct descendant of Ruth the Moabite, did illegally gain power over Israel and the Jews by breaking the laws of God and having no one stand up for them or protest that a half-breed Moabite like David should never have been king.. By law, the House of David traditionally cannot ‘ever enter into the Congregation of the LORD, even unto the tenth generation.’. Their rule and their their descendants rule over Israel is a prohibited crime that must be punished by their inevitable exclusion from power and permanent loss of membership in the Congregation of the LORD, in other words, eternal exile from Israel. This correct application of Torah law would then allow the ascension of a new Ruling House, the House of Joshua, with 100% Jewish and/or Israelite blood who are also Orthodox Jewish in terms of religion..

Cursed be the Devil, cursed be me…
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The Devil’s Bible, Part II.

December 17, 2010

For the Devil too can quote Scripture…

– American Proverb

Part II. The Bible and the Bathroom

Some may just call it a case of metaphorical coincidence, or a dirty sense of humor, but the Bible does seem to include a few key passages that refer directly to indoor plumbing in general and to the steel (iron) flusher in particular found attached to literally all 20th Century toilets. Did the Prophets know about the modern world or were they given direct access to the most advanced systems of waste disposal available 2,000 years ago? It’s hard to say, but even Angels, and perhaps the Holy Ghost, can sympathize with mere mortals who must still obey the call of nature in a proper, civilized manner and hopefully raise all of their children to do the same. Here are the pertinent Biblical passages:

Toilet Training and Biblical Prophecy

A Young Mother has a Baby Boy Destined to Lose his Diapers and become Properly Toilet-Trained
And she gave birth to a son, a male child, who is to rule all the nations with a rod of iron; and her child was caught up to God and to His throne. (Revelation 12:5)

She will teach him to use his left hand to wipe himself, and then flush it all down into the sewer
AND HE SHALL RULE THEM WITH A ROD OF IRON, AS THE VESSELS OF THE POTTER ARE BROKEN TO PIECES, as I also have received authority from My Father. (Revelation 2:27)

Her Son may need Encouragement to Cure his Occasional Constipation
You will break them with a rod of iron; you will dash them to pieces like pottery. (Psalm 2:9)

Sometimes Vomiting and Diarrhea May Occur
And out of His mouth goeth a sharp sword with which He shall smite the nations, and He shall rule them with a rod of iron; and He treadeth the wine press of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. (Revelation 19:15)

Cursed be the Devil, cursed be me.